i made a pear tea/soup. my mom would make it for me when i got sick.
i am developing this tendency to throw lavender into everything i eat.

hooray for sleeping at 5 am.
"nations dream of being free"

i was mesmerized by this painting at open studios.
people are so talented. klimt and egon would be proud.

boo was sitting next to the lavender outside the door.
i let him come into our house to visit.
he walked into our room and jumped onto the bed.
(he's the provost's cat who often takes naps in the library).

today, i beheld the skull of a great blue heron. it was so perfect.
it was also fragile & some parts crumbled onto my sleeve.

the panic of my three anthro papers is about to hit me soon.
like me, many others have chosen to barricade themselves
at the library tonight. the lights mysteriously all turned off.

i'm in the school newspaper again! i was cornered on a bridge
and got interviewed. now my photo and blurb about
why the UC is going downhill is featured on the current
issue of CITY ON A HILL PRESS!

it's that time of the quarter again
(open studios).

it's intriguing to stand next to strangers
and listen in to what they say about your troll bridge.

"maybe mops is acting weird because
he senses a natural disaster coming"
later that day....

so it begins.

gadja eyeberries.

i look forward to each morning when i water my plants.
sometimes, it's my incentive to get up.

there is something so satisfying about growing things from a seed.
how a little speck of dust comes to life with some liquid and brightness.
pushing it's way up through the dirt to greet the world.

i am currently growing:
1) forget-me-nots 2) johnny jump up violas
3) a strawberry plant from massachusetts
4. rainbow coleus
5) cascade of color lobelias
^i planted it in a trader joe's refried beans can^

dead deer and dears.

surrounded by thawing cadavers,
we scrubbed the anatomy floor with toothbrushes.
questionable yellow and red stains on the waxy floor.
O the scents that were breathed in.

alas,

lavender brownies, emily's photo show,

champagne, planting flowers.
watercolors. wine.
`*`*`*`*`used to contain honey lemon ginger echinacea juice.

i transferred pretty lithic rocks, that could be used
to make stone tools, such as obsidian,
into new boxes. they were so shiny & perfect.
(i put a small one in my pocket...)

will held my bucket of fungus,
kala held my sailing shield poster board,
i held the troll bridge, eric played his accordion.
(amelie & pan's soundtrack)
it was nighttime, we marched.
a procession through the woods.

today, i made dissection lab kits from 11am-6pm
for every bio/anthro student in human functional anatomy
next quarter. (i escaped for 1 hour to go to class/eat)

a cadaver laid there next to me.
the redwoods swayed back and forth in the window.

finally at the end of the day, i carried the empty boxes
down 4 flights of stairs, dumped them in the recycling outside,
got startled by the janitor as i turned the corner,
wheeled 15 boxes of finished kits into the storage room,
turned off the light, and walked home.
it was dark. i was content.

jill gave me some siberian rose hips.
i made another flower tea.

i asked my sister what would be the most ideal toy for mops.
"an octopus with squeakers in each leg" she said.
i went to the thrift store and found just that for $2.
brianna and i decided to play a jingle at 1 am
then...

brianna and i picked lavender at midnight
& made a tea with honey & osmanthus blossoms.

let it all go. all the unnecessary things.
put a lid on all that noise.

o the perks.

i have the devil's number in my student ID.

i spent all day making/eating food, reading, and looking at dirt.
strawberry preserves & blueberries make nice
vibrant turquoise and maroon puddles on a plate.

i dreampt of a universe with varying gravities.
i sliced off the tip of a gigantic glass pyramid and the entire
universe turned to liquid and sank into the opening, including me.
i fell through a strange sky.

PARIS IS BURNING.
i planted flower babies, lost then !!found!! my coyote earrings,
and saw the prettiest man in drag i had ever seen.
it is a good documentary.

those were my beans but i gave them away.
that was the night i met annie sprinkle.

i finally got around to making this soup.
soups taste extra good on rainy cold days.

1. kunming 2. santa cruz 3. santa cruz 4. santa cruz 5. santa cruz
6. beijing 7. san jose 8. xishuangbanna 9. santa cruz 10. santa cruz
11. wu zhen 12. san diego 13. berkeley 14. orange 15. shanghai
16. orange 17. berkeley 18. santa cruz 19. berkeley 20. irvine
21. santa cruz 22. santa cruz. 23. santa cruz 24. beijing 25. santa cruz
26. san francisco 27. santa cruz 28. santa cruz 29. san francisco
30. san francisco 31. san francisco 32. irvine 33. irvine. 34. aliso viejo
35. xishuangbanna 36. lijiang

it's been three hours and i am still in the lab.
i've labeled elk bones, glued a muskrat skull back together,
shoved an elephant seal skeleton into a tiny shelf,
and labeled bone bits and fragments.

it is raining so hard outside.
i'll probably get blown away.
hopefully to safeway cause i haven't
gotten groceries/cooked in two weeks :(

"y a n b o v o
s o m.
y c c a h a
b t a y o.
a f t r, y a i n t t g y
c t"

packard jennings happens to be our public art teacher.
our class went on a walking tour in downtown san jose.
"God's last name isn't damn!"
we drove through a rainbow.

THIS LIBRARY HAS ROTATING SHELVES.

i realized the other day that
all my friends here are vegans.

i should have smuggled him back with me.

we would eat lunch together sometimes
and discuss how kooky mrs. kang is.
once i shared my bagel with him.
he wore a turquoise long sleeved shirt that day.

i'm at the library again. the kitty is back.
i just pet him. my face has begun to itch.

may and i went on a walk in pogonip.
i waved at a goblin. deer trotted by.

we live in those white cubes in the background.

bloody nose.

i went on a walk in the woods with my father.
we lifted up logs and found interesting
fungi and salamanders/snake-like creatures.
i showed him a banana slug.
he picked it up and pet it.

sometimes, i pretend i don't.
but i do.

my mind is like an unstable isotope.

"THE BEST DAY OF
YOUR LIFE IS THE
ONE IN WHICH YOU
DECIDE YOUR LIFE
IS YOUR OWN."

i was making bad sketches of visionary impractical monuments
of sandstone towers encompassed in a glass dome surrounded by mirrors
when it hit me...

homeless people!
they've been a reoccurring theme in
lots of things i've done this year
and have helped me in strange ways.

i will dedicate this proposal
to the Guardian. who is probably
the humblest homeless street dweller you will ever meet.
perhaps willie nelson's wife did give him that charm.

that weird churning feeling of nervousness.

fairy lights; my only happiness.

it feels like summer tonight.
we threw our hair in the wind.

a lot of interesting things are written
on the walls of the girl's bathroom in thieman.
conversations take place. humorous, bizarre, disturbing, sad things.

i pulled out my favorite pen and wrote my new
favorite quote in my favorite font(ALL CAPS).

steel cut oats with milk, honey,
brown soogar, raisins, marigold petals.

m, b and i stood in our living room. hugging.
m's hair was wet. i breathed on b's hand.
no one said anything. we just rocked back and forth.

humming bodies.

"there are only 3 people who speak in 3rd person:
1) my uncle 2) president mubarak 3) elmo "

-nad t.

muir muir.