"human beings are not born once and for all on the day their mothers give birth to them, but ... life obliges them over and over again to give birth to themselves."
-love in the time of cholera.
(a wondrous, rich, and honest book)

a bowl of bean porridge by a temple
along the yellow river in our lao jia.

old city wall; xi'an, shaanxi province.

beijing had beautiful weather today.
i woke up at 4:00 am, went to the bathroom.
i looked out the window.
there was no one in the streets.
the city looked deserted.
the sky was deep blue with purple clouds.
i wanted to stay up to sit there but i decided not to.

shenmu, shaanxi province.

i now have four students and am working at the school from 8:30-3:30 DAILY, including weekends. in addition to the monkey, i'm also teaching a 1st grader, a 4th grader, and a 9th grader from sichuan province (who has a lovely chongqing accent; he taught cherry and me how to say a bunch of things in his dialect after class today).

i came back to the classroom and there he was...sitting on the window sill. the other day, he was crouched on the floor under a desk, chopping chalk into powder with his ruler.

these ones are super shy and only sometimes smile, so today was a successful day.

last summer, i made this garland and taped it on the fridge at my grandma's country house. i cut out a bunch of triangles, drew designs, and then laminated each one with clear packing tape. it was probably one of the most enjoyable experiences of my life (really!)

i found a picture of myself.

rice in bags. noodles in bags. meat in bags. everything in bags.

where the lotus flowers, yellow dragonflies, and bamboo shoots are.

school days are here again. except this time, i am the 'teacher.' i teach english at a summer school for 2 hours every morning, have lunch with my boss/co-worker/friend cherry (we usually get noodles at an 'OLD BEIJING' resturant) then we part and i walk home.

this is my student. when i met him, he didn't know how to read a single word; now he can read 3-4 letter words and attempts to sound out new words. 'teaching' isn't the hard part, but trying to retain his interest, curiosity, and attention is FAR more challenging... there were times when he would refuse look at the book and instead kick the wall, climb on the window, roll around, etc.

one time, he refused to talk and spoke through a 'pants puppet'.

yesterday, he said he had something stuck in his teeth. so we went outside to look for a twig he could use as a toothpick. he likes maze puzzles, xi-yang-yang, and pets. once, a machine slammed on his middle finger and broke it. he has a henan accent and his laojia has orange trees. when he giggles, he always covers his mouth with both hands.

i thought it was a miracle, that egg-baby(purchased at the kunming flower market in yunnan last summer) finally hatched a seedling within 7 hours! however it was just my grandma who secretly stuck her own plant in it.

halfway through my 3rd book this summer!

i think if there's any creature capable of understanding humans, it would be a homeless cat. this one and i peered into each other's eyes for a long time. a pair of blue orbs containing mini universes searched into my eyes with such clarity. if sally was reincarnated into a real living breathing cat, she would be this one. a crowd of little children were gathered around to look at the kitty. suddenly, one peed all over himself and left a puddle underneath his feet.

underground eatery.

i sit here and doodle, fold red envelopes, play with water colors, and look at teaching materials for the next day's class. there is a mint colored lamp phone; it sometimes spins around by itsself...

'this fridge smells like a dead animal!' i dug through some drawers and sure enough, there was a dead animal: a whole chicken buried under popsicles -feathers, head, eyes, beak, legs, etc.
i can handle extreme heat weather, but when there is humidity involved, i feel like my organs are melting and my nose is being stuffed in a steamer. this weather is poisoness; my heart starts beating all funny when it's this hot outside.

on my way to the NAMOC earlier today, i passed by an old woman selling calligraphy paintings that her husband drew. they were very pretty. i normally dislike these kinds of paintings..because they've become redunant and all look the same to me. but i stopped at looked at them and chatted with her. i liked her, so i picked one with birds, bugs, leaves and gourds and bought it. "little girl, you are so nice" she said to me.

WORDS WORDS LET'S MAKE WORDS. i taught my first [trial] class yesterday. there were 4 boys & 2 girls. they are all about 10 years old. i invented a curriculum a few days ago and started teaching them what i thought they should be learning. afterwards, we played a game to practice forming english words. the boys in the class fought over the chalk as they were all ridiculously eager to write their answers on the board. they were all screaming and laughing. the class became pretty chaotic. i tried so hard to encourage the two girls to go up and participate but they wouldn't. one of them speaks in whispers. writing on a chalkboard is actually a lot harder than it looks. my hand doesn't seem to want to tilt that way.

"curiosity's like a fun friend you can't really trust" i sat on my grandma's bed and ate a bunch of dragon fruit this morning. i said it was like eating ants. my aunt was disgusted and preferred me to say they looked like sesame seeds. i read 100 pages into ishmael, and gave up. so i'm attempting to read murakami again(i stopped after 60 pages last time, last summer).

my grandma kept a dress from when i was little. i tried it on, it still somewhat fits! there was also an old suitcase filled with clothes i used to wear. they are doll-sized.