After 4 restless hours of laying in the darkness, unable to sleep,
Martin offered me an all natural
sleeping pill(melatonin).
I was hesitant, but also desperate..
I felt exhausted and couldn't function
or keep my eyes open all day.
But when bedtime came, i couldn't sleep.
So I took it, and 20 minutes later, it knocked me out.
hehe, but I won't take any more.
-don't want to become addicted..

d000ble major?

O sweet spontaneous
earth how often have
the doting
fingers of
prurient philosophies pinched
and poked

whee!

I have this new obsession with lights & colors.

I've discovered all these new settings
that I didn't think actually worked
on lulu.

full moon drum circle

Apparently, John and his friends were
in the lounge in House 8(next door).
Some people showed up at the window,
and decided to moon them.
But they pressed so hard against the glass
that the window shattered.
They fled.

weeble wooble
but they [do] fall down.
co0o0olorsss are a wonder.

new jack it

& i'd like to just add how much

i love lulu, my little lumix leica.
This blog wouldn't exist without her help.
I promise I'll take better care of you
(she's been through some abuse in the past).
Thanks for being the best camera ever,
never disappointing me with blurry pixelated shots.
Now she has two friends:
SWA and Fishelle.

Lucky days are here again.
Here are all the lucky things that happened to me today:
1) Woke up with no pain in my mouth.
2) Astronomy ended 30 minutes early.
3) It was half-off day at Salvation Army
(got a jacket, dress, floral mug, and a radio all for $9).
4) Found a fisheye camera at UO for $9
(and used up the 10$ gift card from Katie)
5) The 10 bus(fastest route back to campus)
was already at the metro station
when I arrived there.

a little old but still works!

Alice is going to be siiiick tonight.

It was a very long day,
a very long week in fact.
I had no work tonight!
We cleaned our room, vacuumed,
clorox-wiped, took out the trash,
and removed thick layers of dust off surfaces.

"when hair falls off and eyes blur And
thighs forget(when clocks whisper
and night shouts)When minds
shrivel and hearts grow brittler every
Instant(when of a morning Memory stands,

with clumsily wilted fingers

emptying youth colour and what was
into a dirtied glass)Pills for Ills
(a recipe against Laughing Virginity Death)"
- e e

Soon, I shall climb my ladder,
lounge under my only happiness(fairy lights)
and read Sylvia Plath under the stars.

"You can do no great things, only small things with great love"
-Mother Teresa

I can't decide if I agree with this quote or not.
but after some pondering,


(I don't).

My new dentist(whom I adore)

informed me my current filling
is so close to my nerve that
it got infected& is now inflamed.
This explains the constant painful throbbing.
I have to go to a specialist to get it fixed.

-Now I get to write my arch paper
on "ways archaeologists reduce
the temporal and spatial variability
of the material record to manageable proportions"
[due tomorrow].

-Read 4 chapters of Freud
& write a response paper.

-Then edit my Nietzsche paper(again for the 3rd time)
for the final draft.
---
saw this pretty house while walking to the cemetery:

a mirrored pool of thought.

"in time of lilacs who proclaim

the aim of waking is to dream,
remember so(forgetting seem)"
- e e

luminous.
goodnight world.

Apparently, we both sleep talk?

We spent way too much time with death yesterday
(Evergreen Cemetery & Lovely Bones
-which made me cry a lot btw
but the book had a better ending).
Today is dedicated to L I F E.

At the edge of gray quietness,
on a hill that slopes upward,
stands a tall tree with branches
towering over the tombstones.
It blooms bright yellow acacia flowers
-a burst of life.

Little girls in movies always have pictures of
their parents in their lockets
(especially orphans).

So I took a picture of a photograph,
borrowed Jeff's color printer,
printed it out, cut ovals,
and placed them in the locket my dad gave me.

curvilinear lines

I just finished my Nietzsche & Genesis/Matthew Paper!
I am pretty proud of it.
I am surprised I even got through both Nietzsche's essays.
He is really interesting but kinda hard to understand..
(somehow still manageable though).
I'm glad I wrote my paper on it.
(right!?!?)

We read all these great things in Core:
Sartre, the Bible, Koran, Gita, Dao De Ching,
Plato, Rousseau, Gilgamesh, Frankl, Fink, Nietzsche.. and
the list continues for the rest of winter quarter.
But I'm supposed to have Freud read by tuesday.
Freud, O God : (

This boy in the Stevenson Library
wouldn't stop talking on his phone.
Then he started playing a game on his computer.
I could hear all the sound effects and
computer game-y noises.
like the mermaid would say:
[R U D E !!]

okay, sleepytime!
(okay, I lied. I didn't actually read the Dao or Rousseau.
I tried, but I lost interest/ran out of time/didn't want to)

Chop chop+ + + snip snip

I got a haircut today on walnut.
Just now I was working on my paper.
Then !!PILE!! occurred:
I collapsed on the bed,
Nadya threw herself on me,
then Jeff did the same.
300 lbs crushing on my por' lungs.
Lots of hysterical laughing,
but then i remembered how much work i have.
la de da.
i'm looking at the description of nadya's pork free pate:
made with chicken liver
sherry wine, truffles & mushrooms, and
a brandy Aspic.

"i should get me a pig" -ellen

I have to go to the cemetery tomorrow
for my archaeology project..

it said to me[again]:
& you are free.

^i am 91% sure this is the same fish
i met during "spring spotlight" last year.

OCEAN'S SWEATY FACE.

I haven't gotten 10 hours of sleep for a long time.
But I did last night :)

here's the wall next to my desk:

I really need to work on my Nietzsche paper today.

The last time I even touched it was
back in Castro Valley last saturday
sitting at Jeff's sister's desk at 2am
with ellen sound asleep.

fluffy
aww.
Mops has consumed:
pennies, a razor blade, oil paint,..the list goes on..

I crawled back into bed after archaeology.
[won't sleep at 3am anymore].
I dreampt of a little girl wearing a red shirt.
She gave me a kiss.

a twist and a bloom,
it sits on my windowsill.
(the crane was crafted by dominique~*)

in this city

"sometimes those mushrooms make me laugh,

sometimes they infuriate me"

-Behind the Hedge

"I watched so attentively that my eyes
began to hurt from the watching.
The sun ignited little fires on the masts of the trees.
How could I have known that this was the signal to set sail?"
-The Garden That Floated Away
I get these sudden bursts of excitement for the future/present.
They are like small reminders of the WHY to my HOW.
(a little too Frankl for me..but I thought it appropriate)
(However, I still think him too optimistic for the situation)
---
things are kind of strange and puzzling
(sometimes the entire world just weirds me out and
I am left unsure of what to think/feel)
But how boring;;; if it were otherwise.
~*~interestingness~*~

I signed up as a volunteer reading tutor
for 2nd graders at Bayview Elementary.
I am really excited.

Nellie, Xander, Jeffy, and I went to
San Francisco over the 3-day weekend.
It was sporadic, unplanned, and successful.

We spent night #1 at Jeff's house in Castro Valley.
His mom was kind enough to pick us up in San Jose
and even stopped at In-and-out because we were all hungry.

We spent way too much time in Chinatown.

A very awkward and uncomfortable restaurant experience..
(pretty view though)

spent night#2 at the Westin Saint Francis.

ocean breathes salty.

There was a free exhibit featuring:
Miro, Chagall, and Picasso!

you are a moon child
an evening wanderer
above the black night
-d

batz & gatorade

It's rainin' hecka hard in this forest.
I'll go banana slugging tomorrow after class
(well only if Nietzsche & time permits me to do so).

Here I sit in the library, working on my 1st archaeology paper.
Making slow, yet still noticeable progress.
At this rate, I'll be here for the next few hours.

Italian truffle cheese + Moroccan olive pugliese= :-)))
along with some Odwalla,
er' thing is mo beta.

[edit: It is now 2:49 in the morning,
still in the library.
I think I work much better
at this hour than I do from the hours 7:00am- 11:00pm)