the more we petaled, the more merry we felt.
the warm breeze felt like summer.

we sat under the nice sun and
discussed all that was wrong with society/humanity/our high school
esp that "know your rank" jacket.

sporadic midnight minglings.

pretend the white of the getty walls is snow.

this was ~20 years ago when we lived in utah. i wish i still had that outfit.

painting & photo by leah :)

"well, my friend was dogsitting and she found these measuring cups and held them up to her eyes"

after catsitting, my mom and i went dumpster diving.
we found a vintage sewing machine!

- - - ----- - ----
^those are stitches (not a secret message)

los angeles is the city with lost angels.

i am sitting by the fire with a scarf wrapped
around my neck, a glass jar of roobios tea,
and pile of reads that i am very happy
i managed to hunt down:

1) a visual cultures of oceania reader,
thrown into the dumpster by an old housemate
after taking the course. i'm already a few pages in
and even got out a pen & wrote down notes/

underlined interesting things to think about.

for example, i learned that french naval explorer d'urville first made distinctions
between polynesia, micronesia, and melanesia in the 1800s
but we should approach looking at the regions as "zones of cultural activities that shade each other."
i'm reminded of b. anderson's idea of imagined communities
and e. said's Orientalism.
(holy roman emperor! i just wikied b. anderson and he was born in kunming, yunnan. which is absurdly random. its a beautiful city! filled with solar paneled buildings, flower markets, lots of heroin trafficking & HIV transmitting; i visited there one summer!)

2) the bone people by keri hulme,
a fictional book that hopefully will offer me some insight about
the "zone where Maori and European New Zealand meet"
(i am determined to not show up
100% ignorant about a land[of the thin white cloud] i'll be living in for ~6 months...!)

3) an arthur picture book about teeth.
i love arthur. i've loved him since
2nd grade and always will.
hopefully this book will calm my fear
of all my teeth falling out.

4) camus' the stranger,
i'm hoping i successfully finish this one.
there are so many books i wish to read. and there is time; i will MAKE time.

there are too many texts out there.
we are lucky to be literate.
my grandma taught herself how to read & write
when she was (i think) in her 20s.
before that, her life consisted of: eating bark & grass, taking care of her ~10 siblings and war.

i have been having the same nightmare
for years. the same theme, same feelings,
same disturbing discomfort in my mouth.

teeth. teeth. teeth.
it's always the teeth:
teeth falling out,
teeth covered in taffy,
teeth cracking,
teeth shattering,
single teeth falling out,
entire skull of teeth falling out.

O teeth, you cause me much anxiety.

i <3 sewing & making things.
tis the season to...
sew like crazy!

we're off
we're off.

"can you dress nice for tomorrow?"
"ya.."
"no santa cruz clothes, ok?"

-__-

i told myself i was going to sew an ornament &

that i wasn't going to bed till i finished it:

we painted glass ornaments with glitter glue!

help, eyelid capillaries are bursting.

"you see the world through beauty;
its kind of nice."

"one day they will declare a war,
and no one will come."

last night, i had another nightmare about research papers.

i woke up this morning, convinced i still needed to finish a paper.

winter break is the best. now i can draw pictures, bake cakes,
sit by the fire and make plans about sewing.
gypsy chicken!

let them eat [a lavender] cake.
*~the scent of stirring butter and sugar~*

exploring morning markets with my little

2nd cousin in shenmu, shaanxi.
she's the one in the yellow dress.
she insisted we hold hands the entire day,
so, we did.

airport adventures. its become a ritual
to purchase sushi whenever i'm there.

airport people always make me take
stuff out of my luggage because i go over the weight
limit by 1 to 5 lbs. last time, i had to lug around
a frying pan; this time it was my desk lamp.

i've been posting way too many pictures of myself.

i shall stop now.

day dreamin'
i sat there eating noodles with my dad,
uncle and cousin in yulin; shaanxi
while eyeing this man, trying to
figure out what he might be dreaming of.
he was looking somewhere off to the distance
with such longing for a long time.

there is so much sand in this town.
this was right after i took a "shower"
with a mini wash cloth & a bucket of scalding hot water.

the heart of china with a history of 3,100 years:
xi'an; shaanxi.

mops, you're my little dog now.
my sister and i got bored so we had a photoshoot.
all mops wanted to do was eat snotty tissues.

i took a walk today at sunset & picked
2 prickly pears in the preserves.

they were tasty but now my fingers are
covered in cactus splinters.
the sky looked like a blooming fuchsia lotus.

happy birthday nadya,
i've already told you this a few times,
but you are an amazing friend, an inspiring person,
and a fiercely strong girl.
you're going to change the world;
i know it & i will be cheering you on.

i just calculated the total # of pages

of papers i've written this quarter (70)
over 10 weeks, which equals an
average of 7 pages per week
which equals one page per day.
sounds about right.
@___@
forgive me, trees :-(
^^these are chinampas^^
(aztec floating gardens)

i spelled "foreigners" wrong.
spellcheck suggested i change it to
"forefingers"

- - - -

this.paper.needs.to.be.finished.
!!last paper of the quarter!!
no more paper writing for 3 whole months!

i can barely contain my excitement to see/try/eat
polynesian food & tropical fruit.

once upon a time, there was an island
surrounded by the south plastik sea.
the island's terrain was composed of
oolong ti with dispersed densities
of osmanthus blossoms. it enjoyed tropical
weather, resembling that of samoa's.
breadfruit trees grow abundantly.
oolongians had a kind dauphine who
gave everybody magical woven baskets
that provided an endless supply of Po'e.

"If you have come here to help me, then you are wasting your time. If you have come because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us work together."
- Lilla Watson

its almost that time of year again
(taking down my walls).

ps: our country has gone [even more] bonkers.

l 0 t u s b 1 o s s 0 m s

once, i ate donkey meat. it was really juicy, fatty and good

until i was told it was donkey meat. then i put it down
and sat there silently contemplating my taste buds and feelings.

东堂.

my mom's elementary school was connected
to the left wall.

one day, i ended up at the china-mongol border

at a place called "dinosaur fairy land."
my mom, cousin and i were taking pictures when
suddenly i found an asteroid in the gobi desert.