santa cruz, california.

tiananmen square; beijing.

hangzhou, zhejiang province.

"life is too short to be someone
you don't want to be."

during rug time today,
g interupts mrs. r for the 20th time
while she was talking but this time,
before she could get angry, he says:
"I MISS YOU!"

"you miss me? but i'm right here!"
he says nothing and gives her a shy smile.

i wanted to watch fish today.
so i walked all the way to the petstore to
stare at fish tanks.

i gazed at the beta and had a long
discussion about them with a nice
girl employee who told me all about
the different breeds & why their water is dyed blue.

in another tank, there were these flat incredibly transparent
white-yellowish fish. i watched their beating hearts.

"I fianlly got better..a little..and im fianlly on the computer..even tho im not really suposed to be..Here is what happened..Ellen and i were babysitting sarah(the grl we babysit)then..all of a sudden..i couldnt breathe..and i felt sick.So then when i got hom...my parents took me to the emergency room.so then the docters came to see me..and they said i had pnumorthorax..its when your lung collapes..and you cant breathe well. so then i stayed at the hopital for 3 nights and 4 days..my first nurse..was old..and kinda weird.then my second one..was..okay...then my 3rd one..was okay..then my fourth one was okay..then my 5th one ..she was getting something and tripped on my cord for the IV..and i saw all the blood on my amr gushing out in the tube..and i felt sick ..then my 6th one was okay..then the 7th one was really nice..Mindy...she looked lke one of the people from Scrubs..the tv show. i had to wear a horrible oxygen tank."

"I was sitting on the grassy hill with the tree. So "billy" and me and "suzie" were sitting there.suzie was crying because she was moving away and she had to leave "doug" So some time passes..then "suzie" left..and i was sitting there wondering and i said"i wonder if "doug" will cry. So i looked around..and he was crying..so i went over to him..it was kinda akward.cause i dont do that. So i said"well at least you met "suzie" if you hadnt then you wouldnt have spent all this time with her and even if she's gone..you can always look back" so i hugged him..and he turned into a refidgerator."

-a 13 year old's dream.

B A S A L T.
asphalt
sulfur,
or hematite.

she'll probably put a number like
32,203,203 on our midterm tomorrow.

[edit: indeed, she did].

"As brainwashed as N. Koreans are, something like this would most likely NEVER be able to happen in a place like capitalist America. put aside the fact that mostly everyone is fat, lazy, or just plain fucking retarded, we simply lack the zealousness, dedication, and pride for our country that they have. That is something that I give immense props for."

we started our unit on korea today in ED170.
i was pretty oblivious about korean history & culture,
(all i knew is that my grandma fought
in the korean war as a 17 year old volunteer nurse
helping n.korea while ducking american bombs)
but after one lecture, 4 articles,
and reasons why the war was so senseless and tragic
(like all wars)
it makes perfect sense why n. korea is the way it is.

i bought some pasta but got it mostly for the container
it came in which can be reused as tupperware.

now i can bring sandwiches everywhere!
(and mini tomatoes)

~ *~ * ~ * ~ *
(i stole these ^ stars and sprinkles from domi
so everytime i use them, i still think fondly of moon-child).
~ * ~ * ~
[during a skyppe session]
"i'm going to call you every few days, okay?"
*long pause*
my grandma: ...will it cost money?
"nope. it will be free."
*thrilled*: oh, how society has advanced!

this is my grand-aunt and my cousins:

little fen, little bear, little red.
i met and played with little fen's daughter this summer.
little red's sons are my exact age; we talk about college.
i don't ever remember meeting little bear.

grand-aunt was forced to get her feet
bound when she was little but she was too stubborn and secretly
loosened them whenever people weren't around.
soon her feet grew too big to be controlled by other people.

this is my 2nd uncle & aunt
(little fen, red, bear's parents).

my aunt can sing the loveliest songs
in our authentic shenmu dialect.
i can't understand a word of it.
(no one can unless you are a native local of the town).

i was sitting on the lawn outside the library
when suddenly, my favorite glass jar slips
out of my backpack and shatters on the cement.
it was my only drinking device.

at least my study group and i were productive
for 4 straight hours. FEASTING LEADS TO INEQUALITY.

even though it contains lead and erodes your enamel,
this is my favorite thing these days.
i love the taste of dark vinegars.
in china, i started to eat everything dipped in
black vinegar: noodles, jiao zi, bao zi, everything!

i ate the sandwich & snack i packed myself
(and vending machine purchase of licorice) for my
day-at-the-library-to-write-papers-and-study-for-midterms
all within the first hour of getting there.

WOW.

my mom just confessed to me that sometimes
she'll accidentally call mops, linda.

after our failed search for spider and caterpillar rolls, nadya & i got
hennas downtown from a wanderlusted girl named hannah.
she said i had the smallest wrist she's ever seen.
we gave her enough so she could buy 2 disposable cameras
and start up her own website.

today i was asked to hold raphael's hand

because he isn't very good at walking in a straight line.
his hand was the smallest hand i've ever held;
it was brussel sprout sized.
sometimes, he lets out quick high pitched shrieks.
we sang 'hella' halloween songs.

i walked back home after getting off the bus
through the grasses and california poppies.

if we all decided we could talk openly,
instead of worrying all the goddamn time
we'll come off as "politically incorrect,"
maybe some real conversations can take place.

i wish i was frosting a vanilla cupcake
with dark chocolate frosting
& sprinkling colorful dots on top ~*~*~

i just tested out my new New Zealand VUW email today
and received confirmation of the courses i enrolled in!

i'm overwhelmed (in a good way).
i shall be in the south pacific in about three months.

I hope I see some exotic birds, lots of them,
because my new camera has a wonderful zoom
that lulu was never quite equipped with.
(after lulu's death, i wanted to get another lumix
with leica lens so i got lulu's sister, LULU).

salmon blood & dirty notebooks.

she was disoriented, sang one too many nature songs
and ended up in japan where she became a fisherperson
and contemplated naturecultures.

she is so passionate, knowledgeable, has been to
just about every country in Asia and
has such an inspiring personality and life.
her dedication and ability to communicate with
people and give voice their stories is phenomenal.

she just looks straight into you wanting to teach you
everything she knows. it's like our ears and hearts are her only hope
for what she is fighting for in this world.

i'm in love with my education professor~*

her little fantasy where little
olmec babies with cranial deformation
play The Ball Game with miniature rubber balls.
sacrifice sacrifice.

(apparently, this is what mesoamerican
archaeologists day dream about).

instead of frantically doing readings yesterday,
i decided to take the time to make a nice meal and
sit outside under the trees to eat it.

this is chicken pesto with
broccoli, bell peppers, tomatoes, mushrooms,
scallions, goat cheese, with some fresh picked
basil from the herb spiral. it was heavenly~

then some friendly guy invited me to make
cheese, kimchi, and bread with his class
and offered me the MOST DELICIOUS fruit i have
ever tasted in my life: a pineapple guava.
i bit into it and almost fainted.

i have a lavender as a key chain. i sniff it in class.

guillermo: when i grow up, i want to be a snake.

"what's your favorite holiday?"
D: i like halloween.
M: i like pretzels.

this room was filled with robots.
robots who had feelings
and could pinpoint degrees of happiness
in various international cities.
stethoscopes were dangling to
listen to their heart beats.

watermelons are a big deal in the summer time.
everyone brings them as gifts and eats them together.

you are often judged by how close to the rind you eat.
for example, if you finish it but leave a layer of the red part,
people will think you are wasteful, have high standards of living
and can afford to throw away the unfinished part.
if you gnaw to the very rind, people will like you better because
you are not wasteful and show you fully enjoyed their gift.

my grandma always looks at the pile of rinds
and can tell who ate which one depending on our personalities.
then she will eat the bits you left and scold you for being wasteful.

if the person is not in our family, she will lean over to me
and whisper "look at how much she didn't eat!"
and shake her head in disappointment.

i met some nice mongol girls on the train.
they were going on a school trip with their class to
visit the city (beijing) for the first time.
they taught me how to say "eat food":
"bai dai a di"

instead of writing my interview #1 report,

i found a map of China & marked all the cities i've been to.
time spent at each ranges anywhere between 1 day - 9 months.i have this dream of traveling to every province.
sichuan & xinjiang province are next on my list.
tom carter inspired me & i did a series of
ink portraits based on his book: CHINA: PORTRAIT OF A PEOPLE.

"anna, why are you eating paper?"
"i hungry"

think less.
feel more.

i randomly decided to look at my horoscope.
it made me smile:)

"spend some time with children today.
their innocent logic will refresh your spirit."

heads shoulders knees
and toes~knees and toes.
the kindergarteners can do it much faster than i can.

we also sang wheels on the bus,
& 5 little monkeys jumping on a bed.
i like mrs. r much better than my kindergarten teacher...
(mrs. clark who stole my birthday cake).

during "corner time" i read my little group,
Where the Wild Things Are.
Max in the story liked to bite his mom.
Guillermo said "My dad likes to bite. He's silly"

"blooming means growing and learning.
all of you are blooming."

Anna, the only asian child in the class is apparently Chinese.

she keeps looking/staring at me & smiling.
she's just starting to learn english.
she giggled and got excited when i taught the class to say "ni hao."

she faces me during song-time

and has the shiniest teal glitter~* backpack i have ever seen.
she was struggling to get ketchup on her food,
so i helped her out.
"more."
"more? okay. is that enough?"
"more."
"okay. how about now?"
"more."
she wiggled happily away to eat her lunch.

today was the plant sale. may and i went crazy over the succulents.
i was then hit with an overwhelming tiredness. i sat down
and closed my eyes. the wind felt so warm and soft on my eyelids.

i didn't plan on buying a plant (only look) but then i saw
this little one...and i couldn't resist. the lady told me it was special.

we stopped by mary, keevan, and ryan's bungalow.
the sun was radiant. ryan planted daffodils.
afterwards, we went to may's lovely house.
gizmo likes sleeping on the washing machine.
i once slept on a washing machine for a few nights.

i suddenly really missed navid today. so i texted him
and have been having the nicest messages back n forth for the
past 2 hours. he said one of my texts was "probably the
most inspiring text" he's ever read.

it's entertaining to think back to the first time
i talked to him 7 years ago:
he called me a "stupid lesbian." life is funny.

i'm still in shock this place exists on campus.
(trailer park). there are whimsical inhabitable forts with
ferris wheel spice racks, stoves, and fairy lights throughout the woods.
one girl even has 6 cats.

i invented a tongue twister today:
happy hobbits inhabit happy habitats.

stay up and make something.

this is essentially my back yard.
it's gorgeous at sunrise, sunset, and especially at night.

i'm going to be working at local kindergarten class
for an internship/field study!

i am excited & somewhat nervous.
i remember my first day of kindergarten.
i probably didn't speak english that well.
i had a pink backpack & liked gluing tissue paper trees.

little camping trip in the big woods.

fiddle playin' sydney from shasta
lives two doors down.
we have anthro together
& sometimes cook alongside each other.

i decided to buy a pint of milk today

to accompany the cookie i was consuming.

it was the best milk i've ever tasted.
perhaps because it's from petaluma
where waldorfians seem to enjoy living.

i sipped it walking to class in the pouring rain.
i sipped it waiting outside the lecture hall.
i sipped it during our lecture on
FAT: The Anthropology of an Obsession.

i even saved the container so i can keep it forever.
(sometimes, i have hoarding tendencies).as i sipped & pondered over the failing education system in Japan,
i noticed it has the same color palette as the Palestinian flag.

"cite it.
cite everything.
CITE IT ALL!!"

-irritated student during a
online plagiarism quiz we took as a class.

of mice and girls.
"he's like a backpacking mountain man. i'm just a little girl."

during our walk around the farm, we witnessed two cats
who, as soon as they saw each other, instantly approached the
other and touched/rubbed their noses together.

i have a new plant. she is a peace lily.

i found her a planter at the thrift store for $1.

what a perfect saturday to harvest tomatoes & potatoes.
may & mary came to visit and it just happened
to be the first PICA work day! after our labor, we were fed
by the cooks who prepared the most delicious meal.
i love the feeling & smell of dirt on my hands.